


Lost Love

by Ihateeveryone2002



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, House Party, Lost Love, M/M, Sexy Times, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 23:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16922433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihateeveryone2002/pseuds/Ihateeveryone2002
Summary: Dan and Phil used to be the best of friends, both harbouring intense feelings for each other, but when they went their separate ways for university, they drifted apart. Six years later, Phil still has a slither of hope that he will see his best friend again one day. When Phil's friends drag him to a party, fate seems to be on his side.





	Lost Love

There were some days where I thought about that brown haired boy more than others, and today was one of those days he had unwittingly found his way back into my head. It happened when I was clearing out my room and had somehow managed to come across a box full of my old school junk. The books were stacked precariously on top of each other, their bright colours not emitting happy memories, instead reminding me of the grim reality of the place. 

I picked up the top book, inspecting the label identifying it as my maths book and flipped it onto a random page. Where I assume maths sums should have been, there were doodles of various creatures, leaving barely any room for the work itself. I immediately knew that they didn't all belong to me, and the clumsily drawn llama further enforced this. These characters strewn about the page brought back memories of lost lessons, hours spent drawing and playing pointless games of noughts and crosses, lessons where we'd often get told off for not paying attention, but neither of us cared.

I threw the book back onto the pile; I'd tried my best to forget about Dan, or at least think about him less, but I couldn't do that when I did stuff like this. I pushed the box back under my bed, out of sight, under the pretense that I'd never have to look at it again. 

Dan and I had been practically inseperable, we'd even ended up going to the same sixth form. I remember late night Skype calls, stretching for hours until we saw the first rays of sun shining through the clouds, nights spent talking about anything we could think of just so we wouldn't have to say goodbye. 

In sixth form, we only took one class together: art, so we couldn't spend as much time in each other's company, but we'd always managed. Mutual friends had told us we were cute together for as long as I could remember, and it was these constant reminders that planted the seed. Would it work? These feelings first emerged on their own at the end of high school, and I'd often wondered how he'd respond. As far as I knew, he was straight, I'd even given him relationship advice for girls in the past, much to my disappointment. 

I'd eventually come to terms with the fact that it probably wasn't ever going to happen, that I should just give up. When we left for our separate universities, it hurt at first, but over time, I got used to not seeing my best friend every day. 

We stopped skyping, too. I don't know why, I think we just drifted apart. I tried not to get too upset, insisting to myself that it was best for both of us; I could just... Forget about him. 

I was startled out of my training of thought by the obnoxiously loud ringtone of my phone. Sighing, I picked it up to see PJ was calling.

"What's up, Peej?" I said, trying to mask my melancholy mood with a bubbly voice. We'd become friends at uni, and he'd never left me alone since. 

"Hi! I'm having a party at mine tonight," he began, getting straight to the point, but after hearing my disgruntled sigh, he carried on in a more eager tone, "I know it's not really your scene, but it'll be great! Chris is coming, so you know it'll be fun!" I laughed at this last remark, knowing PJ had had a huge crush on Chris since they met at a Christmas party a few years ago. It almost broke my heart having to drag PJ away from him when it was time to go, but at least they'd exchanged numbers. 

"You not going to drop it until I agree, right?" I grumbled, though maybe this wasn't all bad. I'd been spending far too much time inside lately, and maybe it was time to put myself out there again. I'd had a few flings in my time, but surely a twenty something year old like me should be thinking about something long term. 

"So?" He asked brightly. I pretended to think for a moment, though I had already come to a conclusion. It was a grumpy huff from his end that pushed me to answer, "fine" I could hear his smug grin from here, but I was smiling along with him.

"Be here at seven" he said quickly before hanging up.

*

I never usually put much thought into what I wore, usually opting for the nearest graphic tee and black skinny jeans. Tonight I kept the jeans, but decided on a dark red button up shirt, thinking this looked like I actually put an effort into my appearance. 

The drive to PJ's house was short, but it was even shorter when I was deep in thought, thinking about what kind of drinking games I'd be pulled into. Talking to strangers wasn't my strongest skill, either, but if I stuck around with PJ, it'd be fine, but I didn't want him to think I was being clingy. 

"Glad you could make it!" PJ exclaimed as he met me at my car a little bit away from his house; there were loads of cars there already. 

"It's not like you gave me much choice," I laughed, accepting the hug he was offering, "how many people did you invite? I didn't realize you had a social life outside of our friendship"

He chose to ignore this remark, instead pulling me along behind him towards his house, each step bringing us closer towards the booming music. He practically pushed me through the door, handing me a drink and running off, leaving me in the middle of a crowd of strangers. 

"Thanks Peej" I mumbled, taking a sip out of the cup, but recoiling immediately when met by the taste of incredibly strong alcohol. Was he trying to poison me? And what crappy music was this? Everyone was bobbing along, but I couldn't name the song for the life of me. Refusing to stand in the midst of this chaos, I elbowed my way through the ever increasing crowd of drunken people, making my way towards the garden, and by the time I finally reached it, I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. 

The cool air woke me up considerably, though, and this drove me to find a somewhat quiet corner of the garden, and I ended up in a chair that seemed to be falling apart under me. I sat there on my own, observing the wild animals that were extremely drunk young adults, until a quiet voice interrupted. 

"Phil?" I looked up at the source of the familiar voice, carrying the same timidity it did before, though with a new maturity about it. Staring back at me with his wide chocolate coloured eyes, was Dan, the boy I'd lost contact with for whatever reason. I stood up suddenly, discarding my drink on the floor so I could pull him into a tight embrace. He didn't pull back, but I did when I realized maybe I was coming on too strong.

"Sorry" I said, smiling, sitting back down and gesturing for him to take the seat next to me.

"Don't be, it's good to see you, too!" He beamed, his eyes not once leaving mine. The last time I'd seen him, he'd taken to straightening his hair every day, and though I never told him I didn't like it, I still preferred his natural hair. He must have realised this himself, as here he was, embracing the curls. 

That wasn't the only thing that had changed, though. Inspecting his face closer, I could see eyeliner and mascara, and as he took a sip from his own cup, I noticed he'd painted his nails black. It really suited him. 

"So how have you been?" I asked, and he looked down sheepishly.

"Well not much really. I never used that law degree, so I ended up doing YouTube" I hummed in interest, inviting him to elaborate, "well I make these videos about my life, and apparently people on the internet like them" it sounded interesting, and I wanted to hear more about it, but he moved the conversation on.

"What do you do?" 

Compared to Dan, I had the most boring job ever, and I hesitated before answering, "well I work as a shop assistant now," I began, "but it's not all boring. There was this one time a woman threw a chocolate orange at me" he laughed at that; the laughter I didn't know I had been craving for six long years.

"Wow ok, I can't top that"

I didn't quite know how to continue this conversation; there was so much to say, but I had no idea how to start, instead standing up and offering my hand.

"Wanna go inside and dance for a bit?" He grinned up at me, taking my hand to pull himself up, though he didn't let go as we walked back into the building. My eardrums almost burst when we entered the room, the music pulsing through our bodies, but I didn't hesitate before turning back to Dan and waving our intertwined hands along with the rhythm. It was a pathetic attempt at dancing, and Dan made this pretty obvious, rolling his eyes at me pointedly, and pulling my hands to his waist, looping his own arms around my neck. 

Years ago, I wouldn't have expected such a gesture from him, but it seemed his confidence had gone through a change, too, and I certainly wasn't complaining. This was my childhood crush standing right in front of me, pulling us closer as the minutes wore on. It felt like no one else was in the room, despite the rumble of chatter in the background. Instead, I only saw him, his smile causing dimples to emerge on his cheeks. I'd always loved these dimples, even getting to the point of naming one of them Derek back in year nine, strangely enough, but Dan didn't seem to mind, instead teasing me for my eccentric sense of humour.

We were dancing together slowly,  which would have seemed odd given that the music was incredibly fast paced, though neither of us made a move to change, instead soaking in every moment. 

We were so close now, and I did the natural thing which was resting my head on his shoulder so I could talk to him comfortably.

"I've missed you" I said truthfully, not caring anymore if it was too early for confessions like this; surely he felt the same if he wanted me to hold him like this? 

"I've missed you too," he replied, pulling me closer as we moved, "do you want to get out of here? I know a nice café where we can catch up properly" it didn't take more than two second for me to agree to this; this room was far too loud as it was, it was only going to get more so when the drinks started to take effect. 

"Yeah, sure, I'll just tell PJ where I'm going," I said, turning around to see him dancing with Chris. Well, I couldn't really call it dancing, rather, flailing around wildly along with the music, "never mind, I'll just text him later" 

*

I'd lived in this city for three years now, yet Dan had managed to find an area I had not yet visited. It was quiet, the roads lined by what I assumed to be apartment buildings similar to my own, as well as cars parked haphazardly along the pavement. It was the kind of area where you would expect to find small businesses, so as expected, Dan turned into a brick building baring a colourful sign labelling it as an independent shop. 

There was only one other couple there, sitting on a small table opposite each other talking intently, though Dan led me to the other side of the room into a cozy looking booth. I sat down, expecting him to sit opposite, but he slid in right next to me, placing a menu between us. 

"You'll be wanting a caramel machiatto?" He said innocently, looking up at me through his lashes. He was right, it still was my favourite drink, I was just surprised he'd remembered. 

"Yeah," I smiled, "but you must've changed your preferred drink at least five hundred times since we've last seen each other" he grinned sheepishly, and I knew I'd got it spot on. 

"At the moment, I'm very much a cappuccino person" so we ordered our drinks, and after a small argument, I paid for both of us.

"You really didn't have to" he mumbled into his cup, raising his head with a foamy moustache.

"I wanted to," I insisted, wiping the cream away with a napkin, "besides, I owe you for introducing me to this place" he smiled again, though this time with a significantly larger amount of warmth. 

Suddenly I felt him sidle up to my side, pressing into me with a gentle force. When we were younger, we weren't very touchy, so even hugging platonically was rare, so this was a very welcome change of pace for me. I didn't want to make any assumptions, but maybe he felt the same away about me as I did him. 

"So," he said, taking another quick sip from his cup, "are you seeing anyone?" 

"Subtle, Dan," I laughed, "but no. What about you?" 

"Oh you know me, hiding myself away unless it's absolutely necessary to present myself in public" we giggled at that, realising that aspect of him hadn't yet had the opportunity to change.

"I found my maths book this morning"

"Oh yeah?"

"Nearly every page was covered in doodles, I'm surprised I passed the subject at all!" He smiled, his eyes staring off into the distance with an air of nostalgia. 

"Yeah, I remember that," he sighed, looking back at me happily, "so many wasted lessons, but I'd say it was worth it" 

I thought it to be quite strange that the day I had found said book, I had bumped into the very person who'd drawn in it with me. It was like it was meant to be, as cliché as it sounded. We finished our drinks, reminiscing our younger days, and I was just about ready to go until Dan held on to my hands to stop me. 

"Actually, before you go, I wanted to say something," I sat back down next to him, intrigued, "well when we left for university, I realised..." His wide eyes bored into my own, his mouth opening and closing, as if to find the right words. I shifted myself closer, hoping with every hope that he was going to say what I thought he was, "I liked you more as a friend, I still do, in fact" that was all I needed to hear until I found my lips inches from his.

"I feel the same" I breathed, and I don't know who initiated it, but all at once, our lips collided, our arms holding onto each other tightly. This was something I'd dreamed of for so long, and I'd almost lost hope until now, his lips melting into mine as if they were meant to be there. My tongue absently drifted over his bottom lip, recieving a taste of what seemed to be cherry flavoured Chapstick.

"Wow!" He whispered once we pulled away. My heart had barely calmed down when he stood up, taking my hand and leading me out of the now empty building.

"Where to now?" He grinned, as I held my arm over his shoulders. 

"We can hang out at my place for a bit?" I chanced, wondering if I was taking things a bit too quickly, but he didn't dispute, instead nodding eagerly. 

"Lead the way"

*

We had to go back to get my car, but after that, the journey home was quick, Dan deciding to start and impromptu game of would you rather.

"Would you rather be a ninja or a pirate?" He said in a serious voice, as if it were the most important question anyone could ask.

"Ninja!" I exclaimed, almost childishly. He didn't seem disappointed by my answer, instead pondering it quietly before asking me another one. 

I felt like the time had gone by too quickly by the time we pulled up to my driveway, but I still walked around to his side to open the door for him.

"What a gentleman," he teased as I took his hand and led him inside, but not before fumbling with the keys for a bit, "as clumsy as ever, too"

"Oh shut up" I laughed, gesturing for him to come in once I'd finally managed to open the door. He hesitated in the hallway before nudging his shoes off and walking into the living room, making himself at home in the sofa. I honestly didn't mind whether he kept his shoes on or not, but it made me unreasonably happy to know he was so polite. I joined him on the sofa, grabbing the TV remote before cuddling into him.

"Want to watch a film or something?" I asked, feeling him shift next to me to get comfortable.

"Yeah sure" he replied indifferently, though if his mind was taking a remotely similar path as mine, we both knew that neither of us were going to pay much attention to the film. I turned on the Avengers film I had been watching last night and let it play, my hand finding its way into Dan's curls, fiddling with his hair absent mindedly. 

It was about half an hour in when I was no longer watching what was happening on screen, and neither was he. We were already in close proximity, but he'd moved to my neck, leaving light kisses there. I turned my head to capture his lips with my own, the hand at his waist now gripping tightly at his sweater. His arms were around my neck, pulling me closer until he had pulled me on top on him so he was laying down on the sofa. Our lips still attached, our hands explored each other until I lifted his sweater over his head, leaving him exposed. 

"I'm sorry, I'm going too fast" I said, trying to sit up, but he gripped my wrists pulling me back. 

"No, I want this," he said breathlessly, "but only if you do"

I nodded, connecting our lips again to continue the heated kiss as he unbuttoned my shirt, throwing it on the floor somewhere. I ground our hips together roughly, earning a soft groan from him, which only drove me to work faster. He arched his back to gain more friction while snapping his head back, leaving his neck exposed for me to kiss it and leave marks. When I did, his moans got louder, and a thought occured to me.

"Your neck's always been sensitive, hasn't it?" I laughed, remembering the many times I'd tried to tickle him there, but he'd always recoiled, often while screaming at me to piss off. 

"Well, yeah" he grunted under me, though this time, he didn't flinch away from my touch when I went for his neck again. I left marks all over his skin, not caring if it would be difficult for him to hide them tomorrow. I felt him fiddling with my jeans, and I helped him get them off before helping him with his own. 

I was grinding against him harder now that there were only thin sheets of material separating us. 

"As nice as this is," Dan whimpered under me, sweat forming on his forehead, "can we get on with it?"

"So impatient" I laughed, slipping his boxers down his legs until he was completely naked. My hands slid down his body, resting on his inner thighs for a little while until spreading his legs properly. This intimate contact I'm itself was enough to earn more sounds from him. 

"It doesn't take much does it?" I breathed, lowering my head to where my left hand was, leaving a trail of kisses until I reached his base. I looked up at him to see he was staring straight upwards, eyes closed, but I could sense the impatience radiating from where I was.

I licked his tip teasingly, earning another whimper before taking him into my mouth all at once, leaving him gasping with an intense mix of shock and pleasure. I bobbed my head on him, not flinching when I felt him hit the back of my throat, but when I quickened my pace, he held onto my hair, tugging it harshly until suddenly he held me down so he could fuck my mouth by himself. I let my jaw go slack for him, feeling his thrusts get sloppier, but before he could reach his climax, I pulled away, leaving him whining at the loss. 

I surveyed the room, suddenly remembering I had no lube after years of coming to accept that I'd not be needing it. Sure I'd had a few boyfriends and girlfriends, but that was ages ago, all of them leaving after a month, tops. 

Dan grabbed my hand suddenly, as if reading my thoughts, and took my index and middle finger in his mouth, licking over them tenderly before releasing them again. I wasted no time in pushing one finger into his hole, pausing to let him get used to the intrusion until he told me to carry on. I pushed slowly at first, but it was like I was addicted to the sounds I was earning from Dan, which drove me faster. 

I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about doing this before, though obviously, given our lack of contact, the thoughts had become less frequent. It had very much been wishful thinking until now. 

Gradually, I introduced more fingers, but when I bent them to stretch him further, he all but screamed under me.

"Yes! Right there!" I felt myself get harder underneath my own boxers at the sound of this, eager to take this further. 

This carried on for a while until I felt him start to tense under me, so I pulled out again. 

"Meanie, that's twice now" he pouted, but the look of lust emerged back into his eyes when I picked him up bridle style, stumbling towards my bedroom and dropping him onto the mattress. I heard his breathing quicken when he saw me slip my boxers off, slicking myself up with his pre-cum. I crawled over him, capturing his lips in mine, trying to convey the balance of affection and passion I felt for him with few words. 

"You ready?" I whispered after pulling away breathlessly, readying myself for the go-ahead. He nodded quickly and that's all I needed to push into him, slowly at first, not wanting to hurt him. I knew he'd just been stretched, but I wanted to be as careful as possible. 

"Hurry up!" He grunted desperately, gripping the sheets under him. 

"I was being a gentleman, actually" I teased until I slammed into him, earning a restrained gasp. I didn't want him to hold back; I wanted him to scream my name. Keeping this in mind, I thrusted into him somewhat harshly, completely disregarding my previous vow to be slow with him, but Dan didn't seem to have any complaints, instead threading his fingers through my hair, tugging every time I thrusted into him.  

"I'm close!" He whispered, and if I had been breathing and harder, I wouldn't have heard him.

"Me too, baby" I grunted, feeling myself become light headed as I neared my climax. I thrusted as deep into him as I could, and suddenly, I felt him clench around me.

"Phil!" He screamed, shooting white onto his stomach. The sound of my name along with the added force around me was enough to send me over the edge. I groaned loudly, feeling myself release inside him. My thrusts became sloppier as I rode out my high, and all at once, I felt my energy deplete as I pulled out and dropped myself onto the space next to him. 

"Wow," Dan said simply, rolling onto his side to cuddle me, while I reached to my bedside table to grab some tissues, "we should do that again some time" I turned back to him, wiping his mess away, and after I'd finished, I chucked the tissue into the bin on the other side of the room.

"Are you suggesting what I hope you're suggesting?" I asked hopefully. I'd been waiting for this moment for over a decade, and now it looked like I was in with a good chance. 

Well, I mean, I literally just stuck my dick in him, so I hope so. 

"If you want to?" He asked timidly, as if I was about to reject him after what we'd just done, not to mention that he had confessed his attraction to me back at the café. 

"If there's one thing I want," I said softly into his ear, holding him close to my chest, "is to be with you" his head tilted up, and I looked down at him, seeing an immense amount of unspoken love, though I didn't push him to vocalise this; it was probably still too early for that, even if we had been pining for each other for all these years. 

"You know something?" Dan said, refusing to break the eye contact we had created, "I love you" I mulled over these words, thinking maybe I was wrong about my earlier assumption; we were allowed to love each other.

We'd waited long enough, anyway.


End file.
